Friday, 25 March 2011

SAOS: Chapter Three: The Dog in the Chapel.


      The church was a good half an hour's walk away, in one of the old villages that had since been absorbed into the suburbia of the city. Most of the old cottages were long gone, replaced by the ugly terraced houses that had been built. But you could still see the village, mainly because of the roads, they went from dead straight to all twisty turn-y. Perfect for a game of hide and seek.

      Blasted lampposts were ancient too, Nics mentally swore as the one just outside the church gate blinked out as she walked underneath it. Still, the lights were on inside.

      It was a lovely church, dating back to the seventeenth century, with high old-fashioned stained glass windows. It was a pity, Nics thought, that they had to be protected from vandals by a thick wire mesh. The churchyard was a mass of old gravestones, all of them leaning at various angles of drunkenness in the knee-high grass.

      Her toe caught a loose bit of gravel, sent it skimming into the long grass. She nearly jumped out of her skin when it prompted a loud and irate quack.

      Inside, the church was all hard surfaces and echoes, with a wheezy old church organ. The only decorations were the plaques commemorating the dead of the parish on the walls, the wilting flowers from the previous Sunday's services, and the wonderfully intricate and ornate wrought ironwork of the knee height railing in front of the altar.

      During the services, the place would be a little brighter, the candles would be lit and the altar cloths would reflect the light from their hand worked embroidered threads. The candles would be fresh, and people would mitigate the harsh echoing of footsteps on the cold floor tiles. But Nics preferred the church as it was then, colder and emptier, but infinitely more peaceful and serene.

      She wasn't in any way religious, she just came for the music. For all the shabbiness of the church they had the best choir in the area.

      She spent most of the church services reading the memorials on the walls. Especially when the sermons started repeating themselves....

      When she first joined the church choir two weeks ago, she had noticed something very odd. Every time the choir got together for their regular practices on Thursday nights, a golden Labrador would be waiting outside the door of the church. As soon as the door was opened to let the choristers in, in he'd trot, right up to the very first pew of the church, and he'd sit, bolt upright on the left hand side of the central aisle.

      He'd sit there for the entire choir practise, all one and a half hours of it, and wait very patiently until everyone had moved from the choir stalls out the door of the church. Then he'd quietly trot down the aisle again, the click of his nails sounding loud against the hard tile of the floor. The choir mistress, who was always the last person out, would hold the door open for him, and out he'd trot, to disappear down the rows of terraced houses that surrounded the church.

      During the mid rehearsal break for tea and biscuits, again, he'd patiently wait until all the choir had gone down the back of the church to the tea room, and then he'd follow them. He'd take up a sitting position in the far left hand corner of the tearoom, next to one end of the old overstuffed paisley patterned sofa, and would watch the people as they chatted and drank tea.

      He was an accepted member of the choir, every so often during the tea break, one or other of the choir members would go over to him and give him a pat. Nics did the same that evening, even going so far as to offer him a biscuit. He had sniffed it very politely, but had left it on the floor.

      That evening, after her curiosity had got the better of her, she deliberately hung back with the choir mistress while the heavy door of the church was locked after practise. Out the dog trotted as usual, and Nics said to the choir mistress:

      "Seems we've got a devoted fan there."

      "Who?" she said, "Sam?"

      "Is that his name? I never caught it before now."

      "Oh, Sam's a sweetheart. He's no bother at all. And it is nice to have an audience, isn't it?"

      "Oh, yes. How long has he been coming?"

      "Well, it's a bit of a sad story really. You see, there was this elderly gentleman who lived in the parish, Mr Bradford his name was, and he was a very big member of the choir for many many years. But the poor man ended up with something going very wrong with his eyes, bless him, so he couldn't see the sheet music to sing anymore. That didn't stop him coming though, not a chance. As soon as he was mobile again, him and his guide dog, that'd be Sam, would be to every single choir practise. And he was amazing, he'd learn whole choral pieces simply by listening to them a couple of times. Of course, I'd help him out by making tapes for him to bring home and stuff.

      "The dear man passed away about a year ago now. And Sam went to live with his daughter who lives a few blocks away. But he still comes to choir practise every week, bless him, and still as polite and well mannered as he always was. That's why he wouldn't take your biscuit, by the way, he doesn't eat while on duty unless he's given permission by his owner."

      Nics was touched. She'd never admit it, but she was a big softie when it came to animals.

      "Oh, that's so sweet, the poor dog! He must be missing his master terribly."

      "Oh no, don't think that. Mr Bradford's daughter has two kids, both boys, and they worship Sam. He loves them to bits as well, you can tell. But sometimes they can get a bit, well rambunctious. And personally, I think he likes the choir practise as a chance to get away from them for a bit and relax. They're good kids, just a bit high-spirited, that's all. You know how kids can get."

      Nics nodded assent, though the closest she'd even been to kids had been limited to the screaming brats shoved into shopping trolleys down the local supermarket.

      They'd gotten to the end of the church drive now.

      "See you on Sunday? Morning service starts at ten, but we've a bit more of a practise about half an hour beforehand," said the choir mistress.

      "Ok, I'll be there," agreed Nics as she turned and began the walk home.

      Sam was waiting for her at the gate.

      "Hello boy, you going my way?"

      He wagged his tail happily and fell into step beside her. Together they walked along her normal route, until Sam turned into a path that went under a stone bridge in between two terraces.

      "Bye then," said Nics, and waved.

      He stopped, and looked at her, tail wagging, then nodded his head down the path.

      "What, you want me to come with you?"

      He barked encouragingly.

      "Oh, ok then."

      It wasn't really so much of a path as it was a tunnel, about the same length as a terraced house was wide. It was quite dark, the glow of the streetlights at the other end quite eerie.

      She walked through it quickly, Sam close by. Not only because she had no idea of what was lurking inside the tunnel. But also because inside the tunnel it was raining, and she didn't have a waterproof coat on.

      The tunnel led into a little triangle of open ground, bordered on all sides by the most picturesque thatched cottages Nics had ever seen. None of them were more than a single storey high and all were hemmed in by the looming three storey townhouses that populated this particular region of the suburbs. Each cottage had its own tiny little kitchen garden out in front, with white picket fences and rambling roses climbing up the walls. In the centre of the triangle was a large oak tree, and next to it a single old fashioned lamppost.

      Sam led her across the triangle, and toward the point opposite where the tunnel had come in. Across the point was an old black wrought iron gate that swung open on silent hinges when Sam nudged it.

      He wagged his tail at her, and she walked through, to find herself just around the corner from her house, underneath another lamppost that cast a glow of sickly orange over the whole scene.

      Sam escorted her to her door, but very politely refused to come in for a drink. She thanked him kindly regardless, and stood in the open door until he ambled around the corner and out of sight.

      In the distance she could hear police sirens.

      Amazingly enough, Spud was true to his word and had cleaned the kitchen. There was an empty pizza box in the bin, along with a crushed can of beer. That was the only sign of him though, he wasn't home, and there was no sound of Rasta music. Probably off down the pub to watch the match, she thought. There's no way he'd be asleep at that early hour.

      She left her bag under the stairs and sheet music on the coffee table, and went up to bed.

      Spud staggered in around midnight, very drunk. He made himself a fried egg sandwich with mango chutney and passed out with it half eaten on the couch. The egg yolk and chutney made a nice little multicoloured spot where it dripped on the carpet. Another half eaten pizza in a greasy box lay on the living room floor where he'd dropped it, along with his coat, keys, map of Amsterdam and a very battered traffic cone.

Tuesday, 22 March 2011

SAOS: Chapter Two: The Secret Life of Ducks.

They walked back through the park slowly, 'cause Chas couldn't wait until they got back to the house to eat their chips. It had turned into a lovely evening now that the wind had blown itself out to sea. They sat themselves down on a park bench that overlooked the duck pond and ate, watching the antics of the ducks, and the people feeding them.

      "We're going to get mugged in a minute," Nics warned watching as a group of half a dozen ducks waddled towards them menacingly.

      Chas was too busy scoffing chips to be able to say anything coherent.

      A young boy caught Nics’ attention. He was about four or five, and was running along the path, a slice of bread clutched in one hand. He was chasing two or three ducks that were frantically waddling along at top speed in front of him, his other hand was occupied with ripping bits from the slice of bread and throwing them at the ducks with all the force in his young arms.

      He was laughing uproariously the whole time. Behind him, keeping one eye on him, and busy gossiping intently, was a pair of middle-aged women. One of them was pushing a pushchair with a baby in it, sound asleep. The other carried an empty bread bag.

      A shrill scream from the baby made Chas look over at it.

      "Damn," he said in a low voice to Nics. "Is it just me, or does that brat look like a piglet in a romper suit?"

      "Shhh..." Nics giggled.

      The ducks dove for the water, and the boy stood at the edge, still throwing bits of bread at them. They obviously felt safer there, because they didn't swim away, but gobbled at the bread as it rained down on them.

      "He's going to be for it, when he grows up," Nics said to Chas, indicating the boy. "One day, when he least expects it, the ninja ducks will be after him. One quack, and that's it, he's a goner. And no one will ever find out the reason."

      "You've been watching that Badly Drawn Boy video too often," said Chas, before taking a large mouthful of his pie.

      Nics looked blank.

      “You know,” he prompted, “the one where the duck ruins the entire life of the lead singer?”

      Nics still looked blank.

      “Oh, nevermind,” Chas said.

      "No," she said, carrying on as if that brief conversation on pop culture had never happened. "I'm serious. Ducks are part of a vast conspiracy to rule over the universe and make every living thing bow to their every wish. They're a lot cleverer than people think."

      "I thought it was cats who were the real danger."

      "Well, no, not really. I mean, everyone knows that cats are evil and out to take over the world, and that's because the cats are just too damn smug for their own good. That comes through, and it means people end up watching them. So cats'll never take over the world. Humans are onto them. And so are the dogs, for that matter."

      "Go dogs! But you were saying that it was bunnies last week..."

      "Bunnies, well, they used to be creeping up on the ducks in the world domination league tables. They had it down perfect, they're cute, and fluffy, and pets in thousands of homes all over the world. They've also got wild breeding colonies in the damndest of places! Have you seen the amount of rabbits hanging around the biology department? I'm sure they're using the latest gene splicing techniques to breed unstoppable killer mutant radioactive bunnies. You've seen the damn things, they're huge!!"

      Chas nodded, not very surreptitiously snaking his hand across to grab Nics's can of coke.

      "Confusion to your enemies," he said by way of a toast, putting the can back down again.

      Their attendant ducks tracked the movement of his hand. One quacked, almost like a question.

      "And if you've ever seen anyone who's been brainwashed by them, well, it's not a pretty sight at all, let me tell you! Case in point?"

      Their eyes met, and they spoke simultaneously:

      "Rachel."

      "You betcha. But bunnies had a bit of a slip up, not so long ago. A really really damaging bit of press got leaked about them. Sure, they managed to salvage the situation somewhat by claiming it was fiction, but "Watership Down" cost them big time. I think it was the cats' work myself, that bit of skulduggery practically reeks of them. A dog would just eat you, a cat will play with you, then destroy you in the most painful manner possible."

      Nics paused, picked up the can and had a drink, then went back to her original topic.

      "Ducks now, they're the unquestioned kings of the world domination league. Because no one ever suspects them! Over the years they've carefully cultivated this aura of air headed innocence. Water off the duck's back, they say, nothing bothers them. At all, ever. And yet, they're the sneakiest fowl around. Have you ever seen any ninja ducks?"

      "Nope," said Chas, grinning widely.

      "There!" she said, waving her hands wildly, one hand clutching a drooping chip. "Proves my point completely!"

      By now they had an even bigger audience. The little boy had been dragged off by the two women with the piglet in the pushchair, and the ducks that he had been tormenting had ventured back onto dry land. They joined the group already crowded around the couple, beady avian eyes staring at the white paper on their laps, and each chip that went from lap to mouth.

      "Why do you think ducks are the only wild animals on the road that cars have to give way to? Why do you think there are swarms of humans who go down to the ponds and rivers every day to throw their offerings of bread?"

      The hand with the chip swept the area in a grand gesture, spoilt only by the chip breaking it in half and falling to the ground. A younger duck darted forward and grabbed it, gulping it down quickly. It didn't retreat again, just kept watching Nics's hand as it waved about in time with her declarations.

      "Do you really think ducks fly south for the winter?"

      Chas shrugged. "'Spose so."

      "Don't be silly," she retorted. "It's all a cunningly engineered ploy. Sure, ducks can fly, but they much prefer to swim. And when you see a duck feeding bottom up next time, watch very carefully. If you're very lucky, you might see one dive and not come up again, he's gone down into the duck secret underwater hidden lair."

      Another chip dropped from her lap to the ground. This time there was a veritable melee at her feet as ducks raced in to grab it. A feather floated up in front of her nose, and she sneezed.

      "Of course, you'll be very lucky to see that happening," she snuffled, searching in her pockets for a tissue and shuffling her feet gingerly away from the ducks. "Ducks are masters of disguise and confusion. And they always travel in groups. That's so that they can slip off one by one, without causing any comment from us oblivious humans.

      "And baby ducklings being cute is a cynically derived and manipulated trait, designed to take advantage of practically everyone."

      Chas was grinning widely.

      "Aren't you talking a bit too much about ducks and their plans for world domination? Look who's listening."

      To her credit, there wasn't even a hint of mental gear clashing.

      "Ah, to be fair, ducks are probably the one species that I wouldn't mind too much having world domination. It's not like they're rabid carnivores or anything. Now cats would be absolutely terrifying! I think I'd try to leave the planet if the cats ever stopped in-fighting long enough to get organised. Let myself get used as a scratching post? Urgh! No thank you!!"

      "Hmmm," mused Chas. "I'm with you on that. Being ruled by Catbert - no thanks!"

      "I can't see ducks being tyrants," she said, throwing the remnants of her chips to the group at her feet. A particularly vicious attack by one duck on another with regards to ownership of a chip made her wince.

      "Although, I could be wrong..."

      All the food eaten, they both stood up, scrunching the chip paper up into balls, and wiping their greasy fingers on the paper napkins provided. The ducks waddled off, their next target acquired, an elderly gentleman with a six-foot long walking staff and a small wheelbarrow.

      Chas chucked their rubbish into a nearby litterbin.

      "I thought Douglas Adams said that it was mice who ruled the world."

      "No, they don't rule the world, they're just experimenting on it. It's ducks who are trying to take it over. Trust me."

      "Alright, I trust you. Even when you're being weird."

      He grinned at her as she squealed in mock outrage. Laughing, they walked home arm-in-arm, past a young woman blowing bubbles for her very overexcited and happy Springer spaniel.

      Once in the door Chas was all business. He was straight up the stairs as Nics went into the kitchen to put the kettle on.

      There was a pan full of water in the sink, with the burned on remnants of baked beans encrusted on the inside. The counter top was covered in stuff, a pat of butter half melted in its wrapper, three dirty coffee cups and an opened jar of coffee competed with the toast crumbs for mastery of the kitchen surface.

      Nics took one look and raised her head to yell to the room directly above her head:

      "Spud!"

      The loud Rasta music didn't change in volume. She tried again:

      "SPUD!!"

      The music still didn't change, but she heard footsteps upstairs and a door being hammered on.

      A few minutes later the volume dropped dramatically, and feet could be heard coming down the stairs.

      Spud showed his sleepy-looking face at the door, rolled up cigarette still hanging from the corner of his mouth.

      Nics didn't have to say anything, she just looked at him deliberately, then switched her gaze to the mess in the kitchen. Her arms were folded tightly across her chest and she did not look happy.

      "Sorry," Spud mumbled as he tried to shuffle around her. "Thought you'd gone to choir, and I'd have time later to clean up."

      "All I want," she said in a very even and measured tone, "is a cup of herbal tea before I do go out. That's all."

      Spud gratefully seized his opportunity.

      "I'll make you one, don't worry. And the place will be spotless by the time you get back - promise!"

      "Alright," she said. "I'll be in the living room."

      She turned to walk out of the kitchen, remembered something.

      "Spud?"

      "Huh?"

      "Please don't smoke in the kitchen."

      He snatched the offending dog-end from his mouth and hid it futilely in his hand.

      "Sorry..."

      Chas met her in the hall, dressed in his work clothes, a black suit and white shirt. He saw her glower and said:

      "It's alright, I've had a word. He'll clean it up before you get back."

      "He'd better! Or I'll set the ninja ducks on him!"

      "He will - he's too scared of you not to!"

      Despite herself, she smiled.

      "Got to go now, babes," he said. "You have a good time singing now!"

      "You too, have fun bouncing people."

      "Oh, I will," he said, flexing his hands and trying to look evil. She couldn't help but laugh, he didn't look evil so much as mischievous.

      His expression changed to wounded innocence, then an impish grin. With a kiss and a wave, he was out the door and gone until some ungodly hour the next morning.

      A cracked mug of steaming tea was waved in front of her.

      "Your herbal tea," said Spud.

      "Thanks," she said, favouring him with a brilliant smile.

      He fled up the stairs, back to his room, a mixture of worry and pleased confusion.

      Nics just grinned to herself. Then she took a mouthful of the tea, grimaced and poured it down the sink. Peppermint tea is lovely, but not with half a pint of cream in it.

      She opened the door to a bored looking pizza deliveryman.

      "Pizza?" he asked.

      "Not me," she said. "SPUD! Pizza!"

      And she left the house as Spud legged it down the stairs.

      "Medium pizza with extra garlic, hot sausage and banana mate?"

      "Cheers!"

      She grimaced.


SAOS: Chapter One: Driftwood Flames, or, He Wrote His Name in Seashore Sand

It was blowing a gale when Chas walked from the bus stop down to the water's edge. He walked quickly over the crest of the dune, and it felt like he was walking into a sandblaster, the wind off the sea forcing the loose sand into his face. A few more steps, and the sand was to heavy with water for the wind to fling at him, he was onto the beach proper now.

      The sky was heavy, overcast, with a biting wind and the dark smell of an approaching storm. The waves rose high, six, seven feet, to come crashing down on the sand with a roar, flinging white sea foam far past the high water mark.

      Body angled against the wind, he walked along the waterfront, ignoring the water as it ebbed and flowed around the soles of his boots. Behind him a lone duck pecked desultorily at his footprints in the sand, then spread its wings and flew off into the sand dunes.

      He came to a rocky outcropping, two fingers of stone pointing out to sea. Trapped inside them was a pile of driftwood, and God knows what else, all washed up after many different storms. He poked and prodded at the pile until her located something that would serve his purpose, a broken branch the length of his arm, as thick as his thumb at its thinnest end.

      Chas pulled at it, hard, because it was stuck, well tangled in something. With a wrench, it came half free, bringing with it a tangle of nylon fishing line, and a battered metal oval. Patience and cold fingers got the stick free, luck and shaking caused the oval to fall with a thud onto the sand.

      It was about the size of a man's pocket watch, a small example of the type. The metal was tarnished black, any engraving that had been on it had since been scored away by the sand and sea. He turned it over and over in his hands; there was a comforting weight to it. It felt familiar somehow. Brushing it free from accumulated sand, he stuck it in his pocket, then, hefting his stick he turned back to the water's edge.

      A duck quacked behind him, but the sound was lost in the wind.

      Timing it very carefully, between one wave and the next, he wrote a single word, "April", into the wet sand. It took the sea only two waves to fill it in.

      Feeling like he'd accomplished something profound, but also slightly puzzled, Chas broke the stick into smaller pieces. Back in the shelter of the outcroppings he lit a fire, with the aid of a can of lighter fluid. The stick burned brightly and quickly, flames whipped to a frenzy by the wind, dancing yellow and orange and green.

      Before he left, he kicked the dying embers of the fire down towards the rising tide. The hiss as they were extinguished was barely audible above the raging of the surf.

      Back at home, he took a carving knife to the faint seam he saw in the edge of the oval. With a bit of effort, it split neatly into two halves, like an oyster shell. It wasn't a watch after all, inside was an old black and white photo of a beautiful woman in uniform, with her dark hair in the soft curls of the style typical in World War Two. It was safely sealed in glass, so the water hadn't touched it, the photo looking as if it was new.

      The other half of the locket contained a translucent white oval that shimmered like pearl, but had far more colours. It had fallen out onto the table where he sat, too light to be stone. It felt soft, and almost warm.

      "Whaddya got there, Chas?"

      He looked up from the locket to see Nics, his girlfriend, standing behind him. He jumped a bit; he hadn't heard her come in to the living room.

      “Ooh,” she said, teasing. “Guilty conscience?”

      "Hey, babes," he said, grinning fondly at her, "I found it, on the seashore."

      "I figured that's where you'd been, given the amount of wet sand in the hall."

      He looked sheepish, and she grinned at him.

      "Don't I get a hug?"

      He jumped up, and hugged her, enjoying the feel of her in his arms. A quick kiss as well, and they stepped apart again.

      “Phew,” she said, wrinkling her nose. “Have you been lighting fires again, you pyro? Spud’s been looking for his lighter again, you know.”

Chas shrugged. “I didn’t take it,” he said.

      Nics pulled the second chair around beside him and bent over the pieces, tucking her long fair hair behind one ear before it fell into her face.

      "She's very pretty," she said, looking at the photo. "I wonder who she was."

      "Dunno. Bit of a mystery, innit? Somehow I can't help feeling like I've seen her before though..."

      She picked up the white oval, turned it over in her hand.

      "What do you think that is?" he asked.

      "Mother-of-pearl," she said, matter-of-factly. "My grandmother used to have a whole set of cutlery which had mother-of-pearl handles."

      He looked at her, slightly puzzled.

      "It's the inside of oyster shells," she explained. "Where the pearls grow."

      "Ah."

      He'd picked up the empty half of the locket, his sensitive fingers tracing the corroded outside in comparison with the smooth, tarnished inside.

      "Hello..."

      "What?"

      "I've found something, I think. Looks like a hallmark or something... but the tarnish is too bad to be able to see it properly. Don't suppose we've got any silver polish?"

      "Nope, but hang on a minute..."

       She was back in a minute, armed with some kitchen towel and some toothpaste.

      "Trick I learned from Mum. A little bit of toothpaste will take tarnish off silver. But you've got to be gentle, otherwise it'll take a layer off the silver as well."

      A few minutes of careful rubbing, and that small patch of the locket shone bright and clean. They could see the hallmarks, indented into the edge of the locket, but they were still black and the details were lost. But at least they could see how many there were, three, and what looked to be the fine etched lines of some engraving.

      Chas looked at his watch.

      "Better get a move on and get some dinner," he said. "Otherwise I'll be late."

      "Oops," she said. "Me too. Tell you what, let's go down the chippie - I've got choir this evening, and by the time we've made food, there won't be enough time to eat it. Besides, I could do with a walk."

      "That, Nicsy-babes, sounds like a plan to me."

      He carefully fitted the pieces of the locket back together and slipped them into his jeans pocket.


      The chip shop stank of grease and frying fish. Walking into it and taking a deep breath meant feeling your arteries practically slam shut in protest.

      "Large cod and chips please. And a steak and kidney pie."

      Chas looked over at Nics.

      "You fat bloater," she said, fondly.

      He grinned and patted his very flat and muscular stomach.

      "Got to keep up my energy, work's going to be mental tonight. Match night."

      "Yeah," Nics said, supremely unimpressed. "Moldavia versus Slovenia. I can hear the riots starting already." She grinned.

      The greasy and weary looking middle-aged woman behind the counter coughed, nearly politely, and looked at Nics.

      "Oh, small cod and chips please," she said. "And a diet Coke."

      Chas opened his mouth, grinning but was silenced by a hefty dig in the ribs.

      "Don't you start!" warned Nics, only half serious.

      "Do you want salt and vinegar with that?" came the bored voice of the woman behind the counter. They both nodded.

      "Four thirty five please loves."

      Chas dig into his jeans pocket, pulled out a handful of coins to pay her. The locket went skittering across the tiled and greasy floor, splitting into its component pieces.

      Nics rolled her eyes.

      "Chas!"

      "Sorry!"

      She bent down to pick the three pieces up as he paid the chippie.

      "You're lucky," Nics said. "Nothing broke."

      She held the pieces out to him as he picked up the white paper wrapped parcels of take-away.

      "Um... you better mind it for me. Hands kind of full."

      "Alright then."

      She fitted the pieces back together, and put them carefully in her shoulder bag.

SAOS: Chapter Zero: Prologue

I suppose it really would be polite to introduce myself, but I'm afraid I'm not going to just yet. I'm sure you'll be able to figure out just exactly who I am over the next few thousand words. But just in case, I'll tell you properly at the end. Then you'll have learned whatever you can from this story, though, thinking about it, it probably won’t be much. And I won’t have asked for any sympathy or anything like that, and you can draw your own conclusions.

      I also suppose that I should give you a proper introduction to this story. But I'm can't really do that either.

      I could say that this is my story, or a part of it at least. I could say that this is the story of a little something found by the seaside and what happened to it when it was found. I could say this is a ghost story about a blind man. I could tell you that it's all about conspiracies, and ducks. I could try and find something to say about bananas, or the family life of spies.

I’m not even going to attempt to say anything about clockwork, or world domination.

      But none of that really sums up the whole situation. And before you think I'm just being perverse, well, it's not my fault. It's just that no matter how hard I try, I still end up completely perplexed by it all. I don't understand half of what was going on, and I saw it all, so trying to sum up the details would be... well, difficult.

      If you can read all of this, and make some form of sense out of, then I'd really appreciate it if you'd tell me. And I'm sure the others would love to know as well. Except for the mice. And the ducks. They've already got it all figured out, I think.

      And as for what I've learned from all of this? Never trust anyone who sings bad parodies of Gilbert and Sullivan songs. See? I told you it was hard to explain!

      About the only thing I have really decided on is where the whole sorry mess actually started. And even that's somewhat hazy. But everything's got to start somewhere, and the point I've picked is no more arbitrary than any place else.

      I could have started with a leave-taking, or a gift giving. But instead, because this is a story more of here and now than now and then, I'll start with a beach.

      I could be accused of starting in the middle. But I'm going to start there for a couple of reasons. One, it's more interesting, and you'll find out what's going on as our heroes do (or not, as the case may be). And two: I'm the narrator - I get to tell the story.

            So sit back, and enjoy the ride!

Sacraments and Oyster Shells

 (a little story about ghosts, conspiracies, finding lost stuff and bananas)

1st - 23rd  November 2002

Dedication:


      For my wonderful audience (those on livejournal and elsewhere - you know who you are!), whose thoughts and interest have kept me going and churning out more words every day. Enjoy it, folks, hope it was worth the wait! And, of course, for my beloved fiancĂ© Rob, without whom writing this would have been a lot more painful, and the results a lot less interesting.