I suppose it really would be polite to introduce myself, but I'm afraid I'm not going to just yet. I'm sure you'll be able to figure out just exactly who I am over the next few thousand words. But just in case, I'll tell you properly at the end. Then you'll have learned whatever you can from this story, though, thinking about it, it probably won’t be much. And I won’t have asked for any sympathy or anything like that, and you can draw your own conclusions.
I also suppose that I should give you a proper introduction to this story. But I'm can't really do that either.
I could say that this is my story, or a part of it at least. I could say that this is the story of a little something found by the seaside and what happened to it when it was found. I could say this is a ghost story about a blind man. I could tell you that it's all about conspiracies, and ducks. I could try and find something to say about bananas, or the family life of spies.
I’m not even going to attempt to say anything about clockwork, or world domination.
But none of that really sums up the whole situation. And before you think I'm just being perverse, well, it's not my fault. It's just that no matter how hard I try, I still end up completely perplexed by it all. I don't understand half of what was going on, and I saw it all, so trying to sum up the details would be... well, difficult.
If you can read all of this, and make some form of sense out of, then I'd really appreciate it if you'd tell me. And I'm sure the others would love to know as well. Except for the mice. And the ducks. They've already got it all figured out, I think.
And as for what I've learned from all of this? Never trust anyone who sings bad parodies of Gilbert and Sullivan songs. See? I told you it was hard to explain!
About the only thing I have really decided on is where the whole sorry mess actually started. And even that's somewhat hazy. But everything's got to start somewhere, and the point I've picked is no more arbitrary than any place else.
I could have started with a leave-taking, or a gift giving. But instead, because this is a story more of here and now than now and then, I'll start with a beach.
I could be accused of starting in the middle. But I'm going to start there for a couple of reasons. One, it's more interesting, and you'll find out what's going on as our heroes do (or not, as the case may be). And two: I'm the narrator - I get to tell the story.
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