Rosa was looking very green and worried going into work the next morning, so when Morwen got a text from her saying “Lunch? Important!!” she feared the worst.
They met at their usual place, a sandwich shop halfway between Rosa’s office and Morwen’s park. It was well situated, between a bakers and a greengrocers, both of which did a roaring trade.
Rosa was looking surprisingly calm, a fact which reassured Morwen no end. Sandwiches and cups of coffee in hand, they sat at a small table in the corner.
A gust of wind blew their receipt off the table and onto the road. Rosa grabbed it before it got too far. There was writing on the back of it, but Rosa scrunched it up into a ball without noticing it.
There was a sigh and a quiet pop from underneath the greengrocers shelves next door.
“It’s the damndest thing,” said Rosa, between bites of sandwich. “So there we all are, summoned into a meeting with Barbra at 9am precisely, no excuses, everyone has to be there. And we’re all looking at each other and thinking that that’s it, the paper’s going to be closed and we’re all going to be out of a job.
“And she walks in, and you can’t tell anything from her face, it’s like she’s completely frozen. And she looks at us all, and then she pulls this face. And it takes us all a good few minutes to realise that she’s actually, like, smiling.
“Turns out, even though we had a small riot on our hands on Friday, and it costs us a few hundred quid in damages, the paper’s been selling out everywhere all weekend. And orders for next week have been piling in. The subscription office’s answering machine was full when they got in this morning – all with new subscription requests.”
“That’s great!” said Morwen, idly kicking at a pigeon that had wandered too close. It didn’t look concerned.
“Isn’t it just! So everyone’s so relieved and we get a pep talk about continuing to build on our success and all that rot, and the meeting ends, but not before Barbra’s caught me and told me to come to her office for a chat.”
Rosa made air quotes with her fingers when she said “for a chat”. The effect was spoiled by the fact that she had a sandwich in one hand and a cup of coffee in another.
“Careful!” said Morwen, grabbing for some napkins as Rosa’s coffee threatened to spill everywhere.
“Sorry.... Anyway, I’m now freaking again, thinking that I must be for the chop, even if everyone else is safe, and I’m racking my brains, trying to think what it is I could have done. But took a deep breath, and went into her office.”
Rosa took another bite of sandwich.
“Well? What did she say?” asked Morwen.
“She tried to do a bit of chitchat, which was weird, ‘cause she’s never really cared about that before. Then she came out with the weirdest question. She wanted to know if it was usual for crowds of people to do what I told them. I said, yeah, right, if I had the power to make lots of people do what I wanted, why would I be working at the paper instead of sunning myself in the Bahamas? But she kept asking me about it. Eventually I blurted out that I had no idea, so it must have been something in the cakes. She went quiet for a minute, and asked me then what cake I’d brought to the cake sale, and where I’d got the recipe.”
“That’s odd.”
“I thought so too. But I couldn’t think of a reason why not to tell her. And knock me over with a feather, but she asked for a copy of the recipe. So I said I’d photocopy it for her. And that was it. At least I think she’s stopped thinking that I’ve got mind control powers or something.”
“Ok. That’s a bit bizarre. ”
“She’s a bit bizarre,” said Rosa. “Her office is absolutely full of little golden Chinese dragon statues, all in different positions. Freaked me out a bit, all those little golden eyes, staring at me.”
Rosa shuddered and nearly spilled her coffee again.
“Maybe I’d understand Barbra a bit more if I could cast her horoscope. I’ll have to ask her,” she mused.
“Well, that’s good news, if a bit weird,” said Morwen briskly. “Hopefully things’ll keep going well for the paper now.”
“Hope so,” said Rosa. “Eeek, look at the time! Got to run! See you later!”
Morwen was preoccupied as she walked back to her office. So she didn’t notice the little old lady with the ebony walking stick, who had been squeezing fruit at the greengrocers, turn to watch her as she walked down the street. Nor did she notice the pigeon hopping along the rooftops, following her.
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