(Vegetables) Chapter Twenty Four: Office Politics Have Gotten Out Of Hand

There was a light on at the end of the corridor, directly above Rosa’s office. It was coming from another office, this one a lot smaller, with a glass panel in the door with gold writing on it.

By unspoken agreement the two moved as quietly as they could towards it. Soon they were close enough to hear voices from behind the door, and read the gold letters, which said “B. Allen. Editor-in-chief, the Weekly Bugle”⁶⁵.

Hunkering down low, they crept to the door and peeked through the window. What they saw had Felindre balling her hands into fists, and Morwen grabbing her to stop her from charging headlong into the room.

It was a normal office. Desk, chairs, computer, paperwork, framed thingys on the walls, neglected pot plant⁶⁶, the works. What wasn’t so normal was the large numbers of gold oriental dragon statues on every available surface, one even perched on Rosa’s shoulder. Or, for that matter, the fact that Rosa was tied to an office wheely chair, while Barbra Allen yelled at her.

Morwen and Felindre ducked down under the window again.

“We need a plan,” hissed Morwen.

“Stuff that!” retorted Felindre. And before Morwen could grab her, she was standing up and throwing open the office door.

“What do you think you’re doing to my girlfriend!” she shouted.

“Fel, no!” yelled Rosa.

And then all hell broke loose.

Suddenly, all those dragon statues stopped being statue-like and burst into jerky, mechanical action. Several of them jumped at Felindre, who didn’t waste time screaming, and dodged. Several more ran towards Morwen, who did waste time screaming, before kicking at them, with limited success. One went flying, while another started climbing her leg, driving sharp claws into the fabric of her jeans. Another leaped from the doorframe and landed on her shoulder. She brushed at it frantically, but only managed to hold it away from her neck.

Felindre was faring better, though I’m sure her martial arts training never expected facing a swarm of foot high mechanical creatures. Still, she was giving a good show for herself – there was one moment when she used one dragon as a bat to hit another one across the room, where it crashed into the pot plant and fell off the shelf to the floor⁶⁷.

It was a lopsided battle though. It only took a few minutes before Felindre and Morwen were surrounded and completely out-gunned⁶⁸.

Barbra simply stood by Rosa’s chair, and watched.

Morwen could feel sharp claws against her neck and ribs, try as she might to dislodge the half a dozen dragons swarming over her. Her arms and legs stung from the scratches inflicted by little brass claws. Felindre was free of them, but was tiring. Her hands were bleeding where they’d connected with the hard metallic bodies. Her boots weren’t in much better shape.

Morwen took a breath to scream as she felt the claws around her throat tighten.

There was a bright flash, and a series of thuds as all the dragons fell to the floor and lay motionless.

A look of shock and horror crossed Barbra’s face.

“What have you done?!” she screamed.

She put her hand on Rosa’s shoulder and started to squeeze. Rosa cried out in pain.

“They’re only stunned!” cried Morwen quickly, lying through her teeth because she had no idea what had happened. “Stop hurting her!”

“I will break every bone in her shoulder,” threatened Barbra.

Felindre scooped up one of the fallen dragons and held it up.

“And I’ll start taking your toys apart, one by one” she said, idly swinging it back and forth.

Barbra watched the swinging dragon like a hawk.

“Fine,” she said, and squeezed harder.

Rosa screamed. Felindre threw the dragon as high and as hard as she could. It bounced off the ceiling and came down towards the desk, hard and fast.

Quick as a flash, Barbra let go of Rosa and caught the dragon.

“Quick!” yelled Morwen.

And she grabbed the wheely chair that Rosa was tied to and started running and pushing it down the corridor. Felindre scooped up another frozen dragon and ran alongside her.

It was an odd race, through the corridors. Rosa called out directions while Morwen pushed, and Felindre kept pace behind, running backwards to watch Barbra Allen, and swinging the dragon by its tail.

“There! The lifts!” Rosa gasped.

Morwen frantically stabbed the lift call button repeatedly.

“Hurry up!” she cried.

Felindre and Barbra were in a standoff while they waited for the lift.

“Give me my dragon,” hissed Barbra.

“No,” said Felindre. “Whoops, nearly dropped it there!”

Barbra lunged forward, but stopped when Felindre balanced on one foot and held the dragon up by her fingertips in front of her.

“Did I tell you I played rugby for the England team?” she said conversationally. “Come any closer and we’ll find out how aerodynamic these toys of yours are.”

The lift dinged behind her. Morwen pushed Rosa and the chair into it.

“Come on Felindre!” she yelled.

Felindre backed carefully into the lift. Just as the doors began to close she drop-kicked the dragon down the corridor, straight at Barbra’s head.

As soon as the doors were safely shut, she swore and shook her foot.

“Ow, ow, ow! My foot! Christ, that hurts!”

“Help me get Rosa free!” Morwen ordered.

“You never told me you played rugby for England, Fel,” Rosa said.

“I lied,” mumbled Felindre, quickly untying Rosa’s ropes.

Rosa freed, the lift opened on the ground floor, and all three women raced across the lobby to the main doors. Frantically they pulled at the handle, but the door wouldn’t open.

“Crap,” said Rosa, frantically patting her pockets. “Where the hell is my pass!!”

The second lift dinged, and the doors opened. Morwen watched in horror as Barbra started running towards them.

Felindre took a step forward and raised her hands in a guard position, ready to fight. There was a beep and the doors fell open. Morwen grabbed Felindre and pulled her bodily through the door.

No sooner were they through the door when they stopped, blinded by a bright light shining straight at them.

“Stop, police! Hands up!” came a voice through a loudspeaker. “The building is surrounded!”

Cautiously they put their hands up. A group of heavily armed and armoured men dressed in black rushed past them, while another few men in police uniform escorted them away from the main door.

They were taken aside to where police cars and a SWAT van had formed a rough cordon. There were plenty of people behind the police tape, craning their necks to see what was going on, kept under control by police officers.

“Morwen!”

It was Richard, who came running towards them.

“God, am I glad to see you! Are you ok?”

Morwen nodded, seemingly too shocked to speak. Rosa spoke for her.

“Was this all you?” she asked, waving a hand at the SWAT van, the search lights, the squadron of low flying ducks and the police cordon.

Richard nodded.

“Sorry it took me so long to get here,” he apologised. “But the operation was scheduled for tomorrow night, so I had to pull a few strings.”

“I think we’ll forgive you, this time,” said Rosa. And then she fainted.

___

⁶⁵ The letters for the name were a lot newer and shinier than the rest.
⁶⁶ This one was unlikely to be getting any help or watering from Morwen tonight.
⁶⁷ The dragon wasn’t damaged. The pot plant was not so lucky.
⁶⁸ Out-dragoned?